real text exchange between me and my teen

teen: We did our chores. Can you turn on the WiFi now?
me: No, You are being punished for not doing the chores yesterday.
teen: There’s nothing to do.
me: It’s the last free weekday before school starts.
Go outside.
Ride your bike.
Explore the creek.
Do an art project.
teen: All art projects are digital.
me: What do you think people did before WiFi and computers?
. …
teen: Burn witches at the stake and die of the plague.
. . . .
me: *sigh* just go OUTSIDE!!!! There is no WiFi today.